September 29, 2008

Pixie Perfect

Saturday, Ella and I decided to have a girl day and go get our hair cut. I was kind of nervous about taking her, considering she has only had her hair cut once, but she sounded excited about joining me, so I took her along.

She was so brave! We sat next to each other while we both got haircuts at the same time and she just talked with the lady cutting her hair and seemed like she was having a grand old time. Hyrum would of been bawling on the floor at the first snip. He still cries every single time we cut his hair, but apparently Ella loves getting hair cuts. I just told her she was going to get her hair cut like Snow White and that sealed the deal (despite Daddy's attempts to convince her to keep it long like Ariel). So now she will have cute hair to go with her Snow White costume.

The title of this blog is dedicated to Ella and her little tinkerbell camera that she carries around that says "pixie perfect" every time you snap the button. I have to say her hair cut is definitely pixie perfect and suits my little fairy daughter.

Yesterday and today people complimented her on her hair and Ella just replies "it's so gorgeous." Ah, more of Mommy's brainwashing at work.

I also got my hair cut since it hasn't been cut since the last time I blogged about it in February, but I didn't take any pictures because it really wasn't all that exciting. The just took an inch and a half to two inches off, so it's just a little shorter and less nastier looking. However, this was Logan's expression after seeing my new hair do . . .
Clearly he is in awe of all my motherly beauty! What can I say? I'm one hot momma!

September 16, 2008

A Second Chance

The last few weeks I've been mourning the loss of a memory; my son's first day of school. I knew I couldn't turn back time, so I was just having to accept that I missed out. I just wished God could somehow give me a do-over, a second chance. I knew it was an impossible wish, and yet He made it happen. . . .

For years I've been researching a charter school in our area and just praying that Hyrum would be able to go to this school. New students are chosen based on a lottery and my heart just broke when I received a letter telling me he was 45 on a waiting list. Two weeks before school started I called again just to double check and he was number 25.

I had prayed fervently about where to send Hyrum to school, and I felt very strongly that he was supposed to attend this particular one. However, the odds were against me and I realized that I would just have to live with that uneasy feeling I kept getting when I prayed about sending him somewhere else.

On Friday, I received a very unexpected message on my phone, informing me that a spot had opened up and Hyrum could enroll if he so chose. I was in complete shock. I have wanted him to go to this school for so long, and there was the opportunity right within my reach. However, the choice was much more complicated now.

For starters, school started 2 weeks ago and Hyrum has already become familiar with his teacher and his routine. Not to mention the school is only a few blocks down the road and I carpool with our neighbor.

When I had originally filled out the paper work for the lottery for Reagan Academy, I had two neighbors who were already guaranteed spots. So even though the school is clear in Springville, I would have someone to carpool with. Now, however, both of these families have moved which would mean I would have to drive back and forth twice a day myself.

I still felt really good about the school, but since some of the circumstances had changed I really had to think about it. Unfortunately I only had until Monday to make this decision. Monday morning, Ben and the kids and I, toured the school and met with some of the administrators. I felt good throughout the whole process, and so we enrolled him to start immediately.

So, long story short, I got a second chance at my son's first day of school. I was up way too late last night buying his uniforms and then I couldn't sleep a wink because I was so excited. I got up super early and decorated the house with red balloons and confetti (one of the school colors) and promised Hyrum a special breakfast of whatever he wanted. We really wanted to make the transition more of a celebration of him "getting picked" to go to the special school. When we first told him, he wasn't really keen on the idea of leaving his friends and classroom, but he warmed up the minute he walked through that door.

I really feel good about this decision, even though it isn't as convenient for me, and I'm sure it wasn't easy for Hyrum either, but I think in the long run he will be so much happier at Reagan Academy. I just love that they have so many resources and specialty classes that other schools don't offer. I also really like that kids learn on their own level, and can progress whenever they are ready to move on. I hope this will be a good experience for Hyrum and I'm just so thankful for a Heavenly Father who knew how important this was to me, to allow me a second chance.

"Solid Food"

Last week we gave Logan his first taste of rice cereal and I guess it went as good as can be expected. Let's face it, rice cereal is mushy, gooey and tastes really awful. I think it's quite a feat if any baby is willing to take more than one spoonful. I'm not sure how it even got in the solid food category. It's super runny and in no way could be categorized as food. A weak glue substitute, maybe, but not food. He made a lot of faces and spit most of it out, but every day gets a little better. I'm always more excited when I can start feeding them fruits and baby "desserts" from a jar. Some of them aren't half bad and I don't have to feel so guilty forcing them to eat it.

September 10, 2008

Cute Pictures Karen Took While She Was Here

Logan-4 Month Checkup

Logan had his 4 month check up a few days ago and I was a little nervous because he didn't eat really good for several days, thanks switching from the breast to formula. Thankfully he still survived the trauma with most of his rolls intact. He did drop a little percentage wise, but nothing serious. He weighed a little over 15 pounds (50%), and was 25 inches long (48%). So, he's still pretty evenly proportioned.
The doctor visit went really well until Ella somehow flipped the stool next to the examining table over and bit clear through her lip. I guess it was a good thing we were at the doctor's office. Fortunately, she doesn't need stitches or anything, and she's healing nicely. She definitely inherited her mom's clumsy gene.

Anyways, here are some fun milestones Logan is doing at four months:
*Rolls tummy to back and back to tummy


*Smiles and laughs (he is very ticklish)


*Trys to repeat vocal sounds


*Bats at objects and can pick up small toys


*Scoots around the crib (often getting a limb stuck in the process)


*Able to hold head up pretty steadily (loves sitting in the bumbo)


*Sleeps through the night (he's actually been doing that for quite a while)
Now we are just trying to figure out how the heck to get him on a routine. The kid will not take naps. We are talking a 10-20 min. nap in the morning and maybe 30 min-1 hour in the afternoon. It's driving me nuts. Hyrum refused to nap too, but I eventually forced him on a schedule. I'm having a really hard time getting Logan on a perfect schedule, since I have 2 other kids. The afternoon isn't too bad because my other kids take naps or quiet time, but the morning is just nuts. Anyone have any great ideas? He'll fall asleep if I hold him, but then he wakes up the minute I lay him down, or 10 minutes later. I tried letting him "cry it out" but it lasted forever. He's a super, super light sleeper. I'm just not sure what to do. Thank heavens he's so darn cute!


September 8, 2008

My Made for T.V. Movie

I've sat down at the computer several times to write, but I haven't been sure what to say. I've gone through some really difficult times these last few weeks, and just haven't felt like talking about them. I still don't feel like elaborating on everything, but it just feels weird to not write anything and just continue on as though nothing happened. So, I've decided to compromise and just give a brief explanation of what has been going on. . .

After having Logan, I experienced some postpartum ick (yes that is the technical term :) My doctor prescribed me some anti-depressants, and long story short, I had some severe side effects. Severe enough that I ended up in the hospital. Most of this experience is just a blur of my worst nightmares that I hope will fade over time. I stayed in the hospital for a week, and it was one of the most horrible things I've had to endure. Most of the doctors and staff just treated me like some emotional lunatic. They basically take all your agency away and care nothing for you. It's what I imagine Hell to be like, only with visitation rights. Ben and I would try to laugh about my stay in the "Pitts of Hell". It was either that or the endless crying. At some point I think my eyes just gave up and humor seemed like a better coping device.

Blood tests were ran, and as much as I HATE having blood drawn, it was the one positive thing I can take from this experience. The results came back. Hypothyroid. A normal persons TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) is between 0 and 4. My first test was 44, my second was 72. My thyroid had almost completely stopped working. Apparently, it's one of the highest numbers they had ever seen and claimed that anyone that has come in with a number that high was in a coma. They predicted I had about 2 more weeks until I hit the "vegetable" phase. Clearly someone was looking out for me, and it wasn't the doctors.

Here's some of the fun symptoms of Hypothyroidism:
Fatigue,
Weakness
Weight gain or increased difficulty losing weight
Coarse, dry hair
Dry, rough pale skin
Hair loss
Cold intolerance (can't tolerate the cold like those around you)
Muscle cramps and frequent muscle aches
Constipation
Depression
Irritability
Memory loss
Abnormal menstrual cycles
Decreased libido

Wow, and I wonder why I've been feeling like crap? Sign me up for the next beauty pageant. I was actually relieved that I can now blame my inablility to lose weight regardless of how hard I work out on my thyroid.

My MRI also came back normal, so I was able to sigh a little relief. I'm not totally crazy after all. Those last few weeks were the combination of post-partum, bad medication, and a severe problem with my thyroid.

The hardest part was being away from my husband and children. The day they admitted me to the hospital was the day before Hyrum started kindergarten. I've never cried so hard, as I did that moment when they told me I was going to miss his first day of school. I've looked over all my friends blogs full of pictures and cute memories, and realize that I won't have any of that and I can never get that day back. Ben was good enough to take Hyrum for me and take pictures, but it's not the same. People keep telling me that "it's just kindergarten", "you'll always have next year", "you still have kindergarten for Ella and Logan". As kindly meant at the advice was, it just doesn't take away the pain. I've been anticipating this day since his birth. As a former teacher and the daughter of a teacher, school has been a huge part of my life. Some of my fondest memories were sitting on my living room floor back home, while my mom handed out the school supplies to load into our backpacks. I know it's not really that big of a deal, but for me, a mother who promised her worried son that she would be there that first day no matter what, it just broke my heart.

Then there was heartbreak number two. . .I can't breastfeed Logan anymore. I've been given some anxiety medication that isn't safe to take while breastfeeding. It was a tough decision to make. Stay in the hospital, so people could monitor me on different medication and continue pumping milk to send home with Ben, or take something a little safer for me (although not for the baby) and quit breastfeeding. After sobbing my eyes out and a lot of praying, I felt like being home and taking care of my kids with the bottle was a better option than staying in the hospital while other people fed my child my breast milk. Again, I understand it's not the end of the world, it was just really hard when I wasn't emotionally ready to quit breastfeeding. I know there are some positives and freedoms that come with the bottle, but it's just hard when I feel like it wasn't really my choice.

So, that is my brief summary of what's been going on. The scary part is this really is the Readers Digest version. The real version is a 6 hour length made for t.v. movie starring Jessica Alba playing the woe-be-gone mother. (Yes, I know she doesn't look a thing like me, but it's my movie and I can cast whomever I want).

Now it's just the waiting game. My thyroid medicine won't really be taking effect for another 6-8 weeks. In the meantime I get to be unbelievably tired, depressed, and irritated with everyone around me. Hmmm. . .sounds like another made for t.v. movie only this time it would have to be Sharon Osbourn or someone equally as creepy playing the part. Oh I should of never gone into the movie business.

However, when I get that grammy, golden globe, or whatever the heck the award is called, I do want to thank some special people in my life. Ben, for being the best husband in the whole world and staying with me during all the crazy. The Dome family, for all the advice, childcare, and non-judgemental friendship. Karen, who flew all the way from Hawaii to take care of me and my kids. And to all my family and friends who have visited, called, and prayed for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you!