18 Weeks and Expanding

I've been fighting for some time now to remain in my regular sized clothes, but alas I finally lost the battle. I decided to wash and iron all my maternity clothes this week, thinking I could make it another week or two, but I only made it another day or two.

It's not that I don't like my maternity clothes, most of them are pretty cute. It's the acceptance that I am expanding. Now for alot of women that I know that's no big deal because they are out jogging 2 days after the baby is born and back to their size 2's after 2 weeks (this is no exaggeration). That's not my story. Every inch and pound I gain, although caused by the baby, does not leave with the baby.

I try to eat somewhat good and only gain about 25 pounds, yet those pounds just haunt me after the baby is born. I have to stay in maternity clothes for 2 months after the baby is born and I'm not back to my regular size (and when I say regular I'm not talking size 2 kind of regular) until 18 months after the baby is born! So how is it then that I have friends that gain 45-60 pounds during their pregnancy and are able to pop down to 100 pounds only weeks after having a baby?

I didn't mind so much with Hyrum, and I was doing o.k. with Ella, but this time around I am just dreading trying to get all those pounds off. I seriously broke down crying at the mall the other day, passing all those clothing stores full of clothes that I can't fit into now, and won't be able to fit into for another 2 years. It's not like I can diet or anything right now and you can't diet when you are breastfeeding either. And unfortunately, due to my herniated disc and my high risk factor, I can't do anything more strenuous than yoga.

So, that's my dilemma right now. I realize I am only getting bigger because I am pregnant, and I realize that I don't even gain that much weight; I'm just struggling with the afterwards. Maybe I just need to get fatter friends?