Death

Lately, it just seems like death has been circling like a vulture over me and I'm just so terrified that one of these days it's going to land. On Sunday I found out a woman in our ward passed away. I didn't even know the woman, but the death was unexpected and I still felt so sad and sorry for her family.

Then on Monday, I was online to check my email and I see a headline for "Mass Killing at Virginia Tech". I've read alot about it yesterday and today to try and make sense of why someone would take innocent lives. I just feel sick inside that we live in these latter days where we are surrounded by evil.

A while ago I was discussing death with my mom and dad and I came to the realization that I really haven't had to deal with death yet. I had a great grandmother die when I was a junior in high school and although that was hard for me, I was glad she wasn't in pain anymore and could finally rejoin her husband after such a long time of being alone.

Months ago I had a counsin tragically killed in a jet ski accident, and it really upset me because it was so unexpected and he was so young, but I handled better than most because I really never knew this cousin outside of a few reunions. Most of my hurt was for my aunt and uncle who had already buried two children previous to the accident.

I really haven't had anyone close to me pass away, and sometimes I wonder how will I deal with death. Knowing my personality, I'd say fall apart, but it's hard to know until you're actually in that situation. I just feel so blessed that I have the knowledge that death isn't really the end. I wonder about the people in Virginia and how they, or anyone for that matter, would handle death if they didn't believe that they would get to see their loved ones again. I think that knowledge will be the most comforting thing to me or anyone who has ever experienced a loss.

Ideally, I'd like to say I just hope I never have to deal with death, but I know that's not possible. No one is ever really prepared for death, but we can gain a testimony that this is not the end, and that will in a sense help us be prepared to cope with the anguish of losing someone.